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Holy Fear

23/4/2020

A Reflection on the Second Reading for April 26th, 2020:
Third Sunday of Easter

1 Peter 1.17-21

Beloved: If you invoke as Father the one who judges each person impartially according to each one’s deeds, live in reverent fear during the time of your exile.

You know that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your ancestors, not with perishable things like silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without defect or blemish.

Christ was destined before the foundation of the world, but was revealed at the end of the ages for your sake. Through him you have come to trust in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are set on God.

Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

I was first introduced to the concept of “Fear of the Lord” when I was introduced to the gifts of the Holy Spirit. My teachers told me that I would receive it during the sacrament of confirmation.

The term “fear” confused me, because I didn’t associate it with anything positive. I saw fear as a negative emotion and motivator — it wasn’t a pleasant experience to have it, generally. My teachers clarified that it was a “Holy” fear. That didn’t help much, since I didn’t really get what Holy truly meant either. I thought about how “perfect love casts out fear,” didn’t understand how these could co-exist, or why God would want to give me this gift.

So, I did some digging. According to the Blue Letter Bible (an online reference for studying the bible), in this passage the original Greek word for fear, phobos, has two interpretations. The first is fear, dread, or terror. The second is reverence for one’s husband — in other words, profound respect.

This spousal meaning interested me, as I’ve always loved when the love between God and His Church was represented by the love between husband and wife. In marriage I vow to love and honour my husband all the days of my life, and the respect that I communicate towards him in even the smallest words and actions has a great impact on our relationship. In a similar way God desires my respect — but on a much greater level because He is beyond worthy of my full trust, surrender, and acknowledgement of who He is.

The gift of this special kind of fear enables us to avoid sin, let go of unhealthy worldly attachments, and live out the virtues. Knowing who God is, in all His majesty and greatness, helps us live out the virtue of hope and to love with whole hearts. We are afraid of offending Him, because we love Him so dearly and fiercely desire union and communion with Him. We can’t bear the thought of losing Him, because He is the Beloved who promised Himself to us.

In marriage, we can start to feel overly familiar with our spouses and forget the mystery of who they are. Sometimes spouses drift apart, and the early feelings of eros love fade — and this can happen just as easily in our relationship with God. It’s especially easy to fall into this space with God, because we are “in the time of [our] exile” — apart from Him in heaven, in a time of waiting and longing. But let’s not be idle and complacent, and instead ask the Holy Spirit to stir up the Holy fear inside our hearts so that we can choose love amidst the most difficult times — especially when we feel most distanced.

Kendra

Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash

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Paths

22/4/2020

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A Reflection on the Psalm for April 26th, 2020:
Third Sunday of Easter

Psalm 16

Protect me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.

R: Lord you will show me the path of life.

I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.
I keep the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

R: Lord you will show me the path of life.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; my body also rests secure.
For you do not give me up to Sheol, or let your faithful one see the Pit.

R: Lord you will show me the path of life.

You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

R: Lord you will show me the path of life.

Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

Once upon a time I could think in French. Neither of my parents spoke French, the trail I walked on throughout public school never ventured through French immersion, but I had the same French teacher through all four years of high school. She was from France and she was passionate and quirky and was infectious and part way through grade 12, I found myself thinking in French. But that was more than 35 years ago. Two paths I had to choose from back there: use it or lose it. I chose the wrong path. So a few years ago, after going to Haiti, I decided to start trying to beat back the bushes and find my way again to that branching. I started slowly by incorporating a Bible-Verse-a-Day from a French website into my mix of regular encounters with God.

Around that same time I was finding my way back to a different fork in the road where I had chosen the wrong path. One that caused a lot more pain. It required hard choices and a wrenching surrendering to get back to where I needed to be. The more I gave up, the more confused I was that it didn’t fix everything. I was having a particularly hard night, after a particularly hard day. As I brought this confusion to my Father, He let me see a hidden assumption implicit in my prayer — now that I had given up so much, He had to do what I asked. He let me see this absurdity buried in my heart with kindness, not condemnation, helping me grasp that it’s really the opposite. The wonder, the gift, is that I get to do what He asks. So I asked Him what He wanted me to do. What did He want me to do as things were so hard in the dark night. And He answered, ‘Tuck in close.’ So I came near, put my pain, and hurt, and confusion in His lap, and went to sleep…

... and opened my eyes in the morning to this...

Tu me fais connaître le chemin qui conduit à la vie. Quand tu es là, la joie déborde, auprès de toi, le bonheur ne finit pas! Psaumes 16.11 PDV

The verse Alliance Biblique Française sent me. Three of the words I was wobbly with, so I took some time to look them up, slowed down enough to see them. Chemin… route, way, path. Conduit... guides, leads, drives. Déborde… inundates, overflows, abounds. What joy does near Him. As I realized this was a continuation of the conversation from the night before, I became wobbly in a different way. Close to Him was my only way through. Living this line was my only hope.

I spent the next few minutes trying to tuck these French words away in my mind — a new way of thinking in French. Then I went to move on to my next part of the mix of meeting God in His words. As I opened the You Version app, it highlighted on the front page the verse it happened to have chosen for the day…

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalms 16:11 ESV

Ok God, I get it.

Noreen Smith

Photo by Nicolas Picard on Unsplash

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Closing the Other Eye

21/4/2020

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A Reflection on the First Reading for Sunday, April 26th, 2020:
Third Sunday of Easter

Acts 2.14, 22-28

When the day of Pentecost had come, Peter, standing with the eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd, “Men of Judea and all who live in Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and listen to what I say. Jesus of Nazareth, a man attested to you by God with deeds of power, wonders, and signs that God did through him among you, as you yourselves know — this man, handed over to you according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of those outside the law.

“But God raised him up, having freed him from death, because it was impossible for him to be held in its power. For David says concerning him, ‘I saw the Lord always before me, for he is at my right hand so that I will not be shaken; therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced; moreover my flesh will live in hope. For you will not abandon my soul to Hades, or let your Holy One experience corruption. You have made known to me the ways of life; you will make me full of gladness with your presence.’”

Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

I often consider what the original day of Pentecost was like. The Apostles and Mary, gathered in the Upper Room where Jesus had instituted the gift of the Eucharist, receiving a more permanent indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Prophecies fulfilled and the Church born! Peter speaks to the multitude, some perplexed and others skeptical and mocking. He reminds them of their witness to the proven power of God through Jesus and His works, and of David’s prophecy of the resurrection power of Jesus and the promise that God is always with us.

What would my reaction have been had I been there that day? Would I have been one of the perplexed? Or skeptical, listening to the various tongues around me with one eye open? Would I understand what He meant when He promised to always be with me through the Holy Spirit and Eucharist?

If I’m honest, had I answered those questions pre-COVID, I would have to admit that I may have been one of those in the crowd with one eye open, sneaking furtive gazes around those who fully believe and had submitted themselves to the power of the Holy Spirit. It’s not so much that I doubt, but I can certainly allow my humanness to push out the mystery of faith. Several weeks into a global pandemic, I am having my own personal Pentecost and have become even more grateful for Jesus’ resurrection power.

This pandemic has turned our modern society upside down. The importance of “things”, including the physical walls of a church building and everything I normally do in those buildings, has shifted. It’s like the Lord has broken down the physical walls that I was safely hiding behind and stripped me of all my good Christian activities. He even made me so busy with my work that I have had to take a leave from some of my church related activities that are flourishing during this time.

All that is left for me is to be in relationship with Him. Naked, vulnerable, and open. Now instead of being busy preparing music for liturgies, I’m joining in from my living room with thousands of others, singing songs I didn’t get to choose, really reflecting on the readings and homilies.

And then we arrive at Eucharist. My heart breaks open every time I recite the Prayer of Spiritual Communion: My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament. I love You above all things, and I desire to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You.

God always had and always will have a plan. Amidst all of this, He has reminded me He is always here. I close that other eye and press into Him.

Sandy Graves

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

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Mercy for the Sceptic

17/4/2020

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A Reflection on the Gospel for April 19th, 2020:
Divine Mercy Sunday

John 20.19-31

It was evening on the day Jesus rose from the dead, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews. Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.

Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”

When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

But Thomas, who was called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

After eight days his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!”

Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

Here’s a thing about me: I’m a sceptic. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a sceptic is “habitually inclined rather to doubt than to believe any assertion … that comes before him,” “a seeker after truth,” “an inquirer who has not yet arrived at definite convictions.” That describes me pretty well. Am I this way by nature or nurture? I’d have to say it’s a little of Column A, and a little of Column B. Either way, scepticism is ingrained in me, but it is not one of the traits people love most about me.

Now, while I may be a sceptic, I’m not a cynic. Rather than ridicule others or dismiss their beliefs, I respect people whose beliefs differ from mine. (As the saying goes, it would be a strange world if everyone were the same.) What I value most is the opportunity to make up my own mind, to test the evidence of a thing before I am expected to believe it. It should come as no surprise then that I have a special place in my heart for the Apostle Thomas — you know, Doubting Thomas.

In the Gospel for this Sunday, John tells us that, at a time when Thomas was not with them, the crucified Jesus — alive again — appeared. And when the disciples told Thomas this, he said he’d believe it only when he could see it for himself.

John does not explain why Thomas adopted this mindset. Could it be that he thought they were lying? I don’t think so. As a member of a group in hiding from the Jews, it seems very clear to me that Thomas would trust the others with his life. Was Thomas simply feeble in his faith? Nothing suggests he was any less faithful than the other apostles. But he did doubt, and because of this history has judged him harshly.

But Jesus, in a way that warms my heart, did not single Thomas out for condemnation. When He appeared again, Thomas was present. Jesus invited Thomas to touch His wounds and said, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.” If we read this carefully, it’s clear that Jesus wasn’t actually just speaking to Thomas. Wasn’t He speaking to all of the disciples, who just the week before were standing in Thomas’ shoes, doubtful and cast down?

Later, Thomas went to India, establishing a Christian community that remains alive today. This is not the legacy of a doubter. His was a moment of scepticism. He just needed to see it for himself.

I’ve been in Thomas’ shoes too. Many times. And never — never — has Jesus ever wagged His finger at me or called me weak or shamed me for disappointing Him. Instead He meets me in my doubt, blesses me with His peace, and shows me who He is and the glory of all that He can do. And I am convinced, because I have seen it for myself.

Donna Davis