Fear & Belief

​A Reflection on the Gospel for Sunday, June 30th, 2024:
Thirteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Mark
5.21-24, 35-43 

​When Jesus had crossed in the boat to the other side, a great crowd gathered around him; and he was by the sea. Then one of the synagogue leaders named Jairus came and, when he saw Jesus, fell at his feet and begged him repeatedly, “My little daughter is at the point of death. Come and lay your hands on her, so that she may be made well, and live.” So Jesus went with him. And a large crowd followed him.

Some people came from the leader’s house to say, “Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the teacher any further?” But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the leader of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe.”

Jesus allowed no one to follow him. When they came to the house of the leader of the synagogue, he saw a commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly. When he had entered, he said to them, “Why do you make a commotion and weep? The child is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him.

Then Jesus put them all outside, and took the child’s father and mother and those who were with him, and went in where the child was. He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha cum,” which means, “Little girl, get up!” And immediately the girl got up and began to walk about for she was twelve years of age.

At this they were overcome with amazement. He strictly ordered them that no one should know this, and told them to give her something to eat.

Pause. Pray. Reflect.

I was walking through the grocery store yesterday and I saw a woman from behind. She looked like Pat, an old friend of my mom’s, and for a moment my heart leaped at the thought of running into her. Then I remembered that Pat passed away back in 2015. The wave of grief that washed over me felt nearly as intense as the waves of grief in those first hours and days after her passing. Even nine years after saying goodbye to her, a corner of my heart is still broken. 

When Pat was first diagnosed with lung cancer, doctors thought she had a few months left. She was heartbroken that her youngest grandchildren wouldn’t be old enough to remember her, so she decided to dye a big blue streak in her hair. In her words, “Nana might not be memorable, but the crazy blue-haired woman would be.” By some miracle, we got seven more wonderful years with her. At her funeral, her grandkids – who all knew her well and loved her deeply – dyed bright blue streaks in their hair. 

We don’t know how long Jairus’s daughter lived after her brush with death. We can say with certainty that she didn’t live forever in this life on Earth. But whether she lived for a few more days or outlived her father, the thing I am certain of is that Jairus was grateful for every extra moment he got with a daughter who was lost and then found. 

Our God is a God of the impossible. He can do anything; He can even bring the dead back to life. And yet in this life, His miracles have time limits. Death comes for us all in the end, and it almost always feels far too soon. But Jesus gives us words of wisdom when we have to face this hard truth, the same advice He gave to Jarius: “Do not fear, only believe.” This advice is not a one-time offer, a yes or no question where we pick either fear or belief and are stuck with it forever. It is an ongoing choice, an action we decide on in any given moment. 

My therapist has often reminded me “You are not your thoughts.” Fear is a natural reaction and often a first thought, a way our brains process what’s happening to us. But belief is supernatural, a gift from God, a grace we can accept that helps us to see beyond our initial reaction. Belief lets us tell ourselves a different story, one that we can trust is true. In my grief, belief lets me tell myself that I will see Pat again one day – not in a grocery store, but in heaven. Belief lets me look for the signs of her, often in the dragonflies and spiders she loved so much. Belief frees me to gather with those who loved her and share our memories of her in joy, rather than in sorrow. Today, I choose not to fear, only believe.




Jenna Young

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