On Adoption

A Reflection on the Second Reading
for the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary

​In 2024 this feast is shifted to Monday, December 9th, 2024

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Ephesians
1.3-6, 11-12

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, just as he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before him in love.

He destined us for adoption to sonship as his own through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace that he freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.

In Christ we have also obtained an inheritance, having been destined according to the purpose of him who accomplishes all things according to his counsel and will, so that we, who were the first to set our hope on Christ, might live for the praise of his glory.

Pause. Pray. Reflect.

I come from a big, blended family, and three of my brothers are adopted under three different circumstances. I love our family, and my parents have been incredible models of the Christian values of hospitality and adoption. But I think there’s a common misconception that adoption is straightforward, and especially that adopted children are or should be grateful for being adopted. The reality is far messier. Adoption can be beautiful, but it’s also inherently traumatic. There’s pain and heartbreak on all sides, with lots of complicated relationships to navigate. And it takes deliberate effort to form and reform a family like ours that keeps growing.
 
I found myself thinking about this as I read Saint Paul’s writings to the Ephesians. Paul is naming and celebrating the incredible grace God extends us – we go from being sinners who have separated ourselves from Him to being God’s adopted daughters and sons. This grace is a gift, make no mistake. But like adoption in this earthly life, heavenly adoption is both beautiful and painful. Us choosing to sin, separating ourselves from God, was not God’s plan A. He pivoted beautifully and gave us Himself in His Son so that we might be fully reconciled to Him, but that doesn’t make it any less messy. There’s the pain of our own sin, knowing we hurt God and knowing it has consequences on our lives and the people we love. There are the complicated relationships we navigate – within our own families, with our friends, and with our extended Church community. It takes deliberate effort to form and reform a healthy Church that keeps growing. 
 
There are no easy answers or simple solutions, but one thing we can do is extend ourselves and each other the same grace that God extends us. It’s especially hard to be the new person, and almost all of us were that new person once. I remember an event shortly after my conversion, when everyone broke out into a prayer that they’d obviously learned as kids but was completely unfamiliar to me. It was a tiny thing, but I felt left out, isolated, and alone. 
 
Once we’ve been adopted into the Church, the Body of Christ, it quickly becomes our job to make others who join after us feel at home. If we only look after ourselves and our friends, we stop being the Body of Christ and simply become a clique. There are big and small ways we can do this – introducing ourselves to someone new at church, parking at the back of the parish, having new parishioners over for meals. We can show God’s love by doing our best to make others feel like they belong, whether they joined the Church as a baby or just this week. And when we feel lonely, that obligation shifts – we need to reach out! It’s easy to dwell on how we don’t fit in, but building a family is a two-way street. God’s got us, and we need to have each other.




Jenna Young

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