"A Humble Reception": A Reflection on the Second Reading for August 26th, 2018: Twenty-First Sunday in Ordinary Time

Ephesians 4.32 – 5.1-2, 21-32

Brothers and sisters: Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the Church, the body of which he is the Saviour. Just as the Church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.
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Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, so as to present the Church to himself in splendour, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind — yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the Church, because we are members of his body.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the Church.

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I have struggled with this passage in years past. I struggled particularly because I have experienced forced submission in relationships. How can God recommend submission? How could He ask that I be stripped of my status as an independent woman? My pain from these unbalanced relationships led me to plant my flag on ‘Mount Independence’ — also known as, ‘Mount Loneliness’. I needed no one. My hurt and pride prevented me from accepting help of any kind — particularly from men.

Over time, I have had many beautiful moments of revelation, where I have learned the humility required to receive. And I did have to be taught to receive. Generational and situational pride were embedded in my very being. Receiving Christ’s love was my first lesson. In as much as we can allow Christ to care for us — in as much as we can open ourselves to receiving Love, will we be able to share this love with the other. We cannot give what we haven’t first received.

Another lesson was learned when I was a table host on an Alpha team. On the night when we were to discuss evil (pretty heavy stuff) — only the men from our small group turned up. No women, five men, and me. I immediately began looking for an exit strategy. My eyes were fixed on the door, as I prayed for a woman to walk through. How could I facilitate an intimate and emotional discussion with five men? I was terrified. When we walked into our discussion room, my hands were sweating — my stomach in knots. As I organized my thoughts to begin the discussion, one of the guys said, “Wait, Lori. You always ask us how we’re doing — how are you?” I then proceeded to share some difficulties I had been facing that week and looked up in shock to see their wet eyes (because it was dusty in there, of course). God used those men to show me the compassion and sacrifice of their love for one another and for me. The remainder of our time together was a series of circumstances where I found the men to be serving me much more than I felt I was serving them. My heart, and my relationships took an enormous healing leap because of what these guys unknowingly taught me. They innately desired to care for me — sacrificially — just as I desired to serve them well. God’s plan for my life was to learn to submit to the other in this mutually beneficial manner — not to be forced to submit through a power disparity. The submission that is of the utmost importance, though, is the submission of my will to God, because in so doing, all that is before me, however horrifying it may seem, is in good hands.

I have learned, through Christ and His body, the value in being cared for. Much of what we experience in this world drives us into silos. Saint Paul’s theological depiction of marriages and communities who nurture and care for one another in a self-sacrificial manner is counter-cultural and downright life-giving. I thank God daily for His Church who has nurtured me out of my silo and nearer to a disposition of giving of self.

​Lori MacDonald

"... in as much as we can open ourselves to receiving Love, will we be able to share this love with the other." - Lori MacDonald (Ora Reflections)