A Question of Love

A Reflection on the Gospel for January 17th, 2021:
Second Sunday in Ordinary Time

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John
1.35-42

John was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he exclaimed, “Look, here is the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus.

When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, “What are you looking for?” They said to him, “Rabbi” (which translated means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and see.” They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon.

One of the two who heard John speak and followed him was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother. He first found his brother Simon and said to him, “We have found the Messiah” (which is translated the Christ). He brought Simon to Jesus, who looked at him and said, “You are Simon son of John. You are to be called Cephas” (which is translated Peter).
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Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

When Jesus turned and asked the two disciples, “What are you looking for?”, I was struck by their answer: “Rabbi, where are you staying?” Another question, seemingly unrelated, to answer His question. Did their minds freeze, like mine does when I get to the drive thru and they say, “Can I take your order?” Did they not know what to say? They knew they wanted to follow Him, so they must have seen something in Him, or had some kind of feeling about Him. But the question, I can imagine, might still have caught them off guard. 

Before I met Jesus, if someone had asked me, “What are you looking for?”, I don’t think I would have known how to answer. I probably would have said, “uhhhh... happiness?”; “A good husband, and a healthy, happy family, maybe?... Financial security, nice clothes, good hair? I don’t know!” 

Interestingly, by the time I actually did meet Jesus, my answer would have been a little different, because by then, even though I may not have yet known it, I was looking for Him. At that time I would likely have answered, “beauty” or “tradition” or “virtue”, or even, if I allowed myself into the deepest part of my heart: “forgiveness”.

Now, after having come to know Him over many years, I would say that I’m looking for an anchor. I’m looking for authentic relationships. I’m looking for a source of love from which I can draw when I’m feeling weak. I’m looking for a beautiful understanding of life that embraces the mystery, and provides real hope. And yes, I still look for forgiveness, but also for the deepest of healing — for freedom. I’m looking for help. For joy. For purpose in my suffering. I am looking for the reason for my life, for my unique purpose that is fulfillment itself, because it is both for me and for the world.

This unexpected question that Jesus asked the disciples was a beautiful way to probe their hearts, to get them thinking about what’s important. It is a question full of love and care, and it occurs to me, that in God’s infinite wisdom, it remains the perfect question to ask as an invitation into meaningful conversation. What are you looking for? 




Lindsay Elford
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