A Sure Shelter

A Reflection on the Psalm for March 10th, 2019:
First Sunday of Lent

​Psalm 91

R. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.

You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust.” 

R. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.

No evil shall befall you, no scourge come near your tent. For he will command his Angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. 

R. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.

On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder, the young lion and the serpent you will trample under foot. 
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R. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.

The one who loves me, I will deliver; I will protect the one who knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will rescue him and honour him. 

R. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.

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​It has taken me over 50 years, but I have finally come to believe that God has my back. I admit this with a degree of embarrassment, given that some readers of this blog have enjoyed rock-solid faith for many years and probably believed I did as well. Truly, I did not.
 
Throughout my life I have always had some faith, and it was progressing, but slowly—the three-steps-forward-two-steps-back kind of progress. During trials I questioned God’s commitment to our relationship, believing that I was being loyal to God but that God was leaving me to stumble blindly toward success for reasons vaguely related to building my character. I thought God was capricious.
 
Not only did I judge God, I misjudged God.
 
Eventually, by grace, I got the right end of the stick—and that’s another story altogether. Suffice to say, suffering is a great teacher and, in time, I discovered that it taught me lessons I would not have learned otherwise.

"[S]uffering is a great teacher and, in time, I discovered that it taught me lessons I would not have learned otherwise."

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​Psalm 91, which we will hear on Sunday, does not promise that God will shield us from suffering. On the contrary, it acknowledges that we will encounter the snare of the fowler and the deadly pestilence—threats that, like sin, lie hidden until the moment we meet them face to face. However, in that moment, if we call on Him God will come between us and anything that threatens to do us harm. He “will command his angels” to protect us. More than this, He will “honour” us and “shelter” us not just from all that is evil but also from fear of all that is evil.
 
As I was reflecting earlier, my faith was not secure. That was because I was not “all in.” Instead of dwelling in the shelter of the Most High and making my home in His shadow, I occasionally visit God or run to Him for protection in times of crisis. I didn’t live in Him, and I did not ask Him to live in me. All that time I was thinking I was loyal to God and He was fickle towards me—and I had it completely backwards. It was I who was fickle towards God, calling Him to me when necessary but otherwise straying as far afield as I wanted. God’s home was always open to me. He always had a place in His house reserved especially for me, but I simply wasn’t showing up or moving in. I was right—I was stumbling in the darkness on my own but because I chose to walk out on my own—not because God had pushed me out there.
 
Now, after 50 years, I’ve finally figured out where my home is and I’ve moved in—all in. That doesn’t mean I won’t meet scourges and serpents in the future. But, when I do, I need not fear them, because God will be standing between them and me.

Donna Davis

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