Bear One Another

A Reflection on the Second Reading for July 25th, 2021:
Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Ephesians
4.1-6

Brothers and sisters: I, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.
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Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

“Lead a life [...] bearing with one another in love.”

Why then, on so many occasions, do I simply “grin and bear it”?!

Bearing, in said sense, means we put up with, or tolerate, circumstances or others. It tells us to put our head down and plow through to the other side. When I recall my own experiences in doing so, I feel myself withdraw. My heart closes in; my eyes adopt blinders to see in one direction only — away from the problem.

Grinning and bearing things may look harmless from the outside. It may even go unnoticed for lack of “rocking the boat.” It could possibly (and wrongly) be interpreted as a form of “holiness” or stoic martyrdom. But it is a sorry imposter for what Paul is begging us to do — to bear one another in love. 

In fact, bearing in this form is a dis-integrated form of self-preservation. We avoid a problem altogether rather than engaging it from a whole and open heart. 

In old English, the root of the verb to bear not only means “to carry,” but further, to “endure without resistance,” or “give birth to.” In this light, a problem, be it a person, temptation, difficult situation or a particular suffering, presents an opportunity “pregnant” with potential. A woman in labour bearing down is consumed by pain but only moments away from the joy of bringing new life into the world. 

Bearing things can be hard, and perhaps more complicated with others involved. Thus we are apt to avoid it. But the idea here is that the bearing itself can potentially yield great fruit, foster new growth, or even bring deep healing. Sometimes this might mean speaking into a problem in a relationship, other times it may require listening or choosing not to say anything. Sometimes we may be called to reveal our brokenness or sin with others, or maybe it’s our turn to reach out and ask someone else how they are really doing. Perhaps it means waiting with others in circumstances that are difficult, or we might take action to make a situation better. It might mean our efforts are sometimes rejected. And almost always it means we need to be merciful with all kinds of shortcomings along the way.

Jesus did not live His life from a “grin and bear it” attitude. He did not avoid or grit through the pain of others, but rather took it onto Himself. He is the perfect example of endurance without resistance. In the garden of Gethsemane, He anguished so deeply that He sweat blood. Knowing what was to happen, He could have disengaged or held back. Yet He withheld nothing.

There are a plethora of places in the New Testament where we’re told to bear each other in love. As Christians, we hear this frequently enough that it’s easy to gloss over how challenging it really is. Lived to its fullest, it’s incredibly risky and difficult! It requires courage to live with a heart wide open. It also requires maturity to discern what this means in the reality of our individual lives, and to move and act in gentleness, humility, and peace, with ourselves and others. 

Often, we want permission to withdraw from problems, or just grin and bear them. But God asks more of us. We're living in real time, and He wants us engaged, ready, and open to where, whom, and how we are called to love.



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Michelynne Gomez

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