Begrudgingly Obedient

A Reflection on the Gospel for September 27th, 2020:
Twenty-Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Matthew
21.28-32

Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people: “What do you think? A man had two sons; he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ He answered, ‘I will not’; but later he changed his mind and went. The father went to the second and said the same; and he answered, ‘I am going, sir’; but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.”

Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him; and even after you saw it, you did not change your minds and believe him.”
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Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

Oh, how I wish I were not so stubbornly human! That when God says to me, “Go work in the vineyard,” I would just be obedient and follow His request. That I would not go through the whole, “Yes, but can it wait until I finish [fill in meaningless activity here].” Or, “But God, I don’t want to do THAT work! Can I do what my sister is doing for You instead?” Or my favourite, “Oh but God, I really love this gift You have given me and would like to keep it all for myself please.”

I have a dear friend who is a spiritual mother to me, and despite living in the same city, we do not see each other as often as we both would like, so have developed a routine of dropping things into the mail to each other. When her husband was terminally ill, I was preparing a card to send to her when I heard the Lord prompt me to add something to the envelope before sending it. I hunted through my box of prayer cards and other spiritual items, but none of it seemed to be what I was supposed to send. As I searched, my heart kept being nudged toward this beautiful comfort cross I had received a few years before. I had held that cross against a relic of Padre Pio and it had been with me in the hospital rooms of both my parents as they made their journeys back to the Lord. Surely this was not what God intended for me to send! I fought with the Lord for a few hours before finally (and perhaps just a bit begrudgingly) agreeing to be obedient and putting the comfort cross in the envelope which my husband delivered to her mailbox that afternoon.

The Lord knew that she needed that cross that very day. She later told me she had been carrying a comfort cross just like this one in her sweater pocket as she journeyed with her husband through medical appointments and palliative care preparations, and somewhere along the journey, had misplaced it. On the very morning that I was arguing with God about giving up my comfort cross, she had pled with Him to  find hers. Within hours of her plea, the envelope was placed in her mailbox. The physical gift of the cross was nice, but the very tangible reminder that God was walking right beside her and hearing her every prayer was so much more beautiful!

And to think that in my humanness and disobedience, I almost stole that from her.

If I profess with my mouth that I believe and trust in Jesus yet do not support those words through action, I am a barren fig tree — all the trappings, but no fruit. A barren tree is not going to attract others to Christ, and if I am not careful, I will be a misleading example for others.

What I am learning is that the Lord is ever so patient with me. He waits while I go through my grumblings, and rejoices when I obey, and for that I am eternally grateful.


“I know the power obedience has of making things easy which seem impossible.” - Saint Teresa of Avila




Sandy Graves

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