"Complement Me": A Reflection on the First Reading for October 7th, 2018: Twenty-Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Genesis 2:18-24

18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."  19 So out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; 22 and the rib which the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." 24 Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.

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“It is not good for man to be alone.” Why does God say this? Because man is incompetent and can’t handle things on his own without woman? Or because man shouldn’t have to do certain things himself so woman should be subservient? Certainly not. Only through a distorted lens can we attempt to entertain either perspective. Let’s drop that lens, and carefully look at what is veiled by these words — God’s desire to truly create in His image and likeness.

God loves man and woman. He did not create woman for man’s deficiency or for efficiency. Either option implies that Eve is a means to an end. Both Adam and Eve are not means, rather, they are ends in and of themselves — created in love, by love, for love. Still, Eve does play a deeply important role — different from Adam’s — and part of woman’s identity and mission is revealed in this creation account.

“It is not good for man to be alone”, because humanity is made to reflect the image and likeness of God. God chooses humans, out of all creation, to reflect Himself most fully; and God, the Holy Trinity, is relationship. If Adam were alone he would not reveal the essence of God, because God is love — a communion of persons who are three yet one, and who are self-gift. How can Adam make a gift of himself, choosing love with his intellect and will, without another person like him to be in relationship with? No other created being could receive and give love in return, until Eve.

The delight that Adam finds in meeting Eve; his cry, “This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”, marks the beginning of human communion. Finally, he can know someone who is like him, yet who is also distinct from him. She complements him. She makes relationship possible. So much of what it means to be feminine is intertwined with an invitation to ‘be in relationship with’. At her best, woman is welcoming. She receives, gives, nourishes and comforts. She listens, but she also speaks when it is most important. She is home, and not only in the way she carries new life in her womb. Her heart is a home.

In right relationship with each other, man and woman reveal the Mystery of God, just as He designed. Man wouldn’t without woman, and woman wouldn’t without man. Together, they are called to reflect the love they were created in. Our world is in a period of intense confusion and frustration about this, but I have faith that, if we ask for understanding and healing, the Holy Spirit will lead us to a place where we can understand who we are again and what we are made for: authentic, radical, self-sacrificial and life-giving love. ​

​Kendra Chisholm

"God chooses humans, out of all creation, to reflect Himself most fully; and God, the Holy Trinity, is relationship." - Kendra Chisholm (Ora Reflections)

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