Do As I Say

A Reflection on the First Reading for August 16th, 2020:
Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Isaiah
56.1, 6-7

Thus says the Lord: “Maintain justice, and do what is right, for soon my salvation will come, and my deliverance be revealed.

“And the foreigners who join themselves to the Lord, to minister to him, to love the name of the Lord, and to be his servants, all who keep the Sabbath, and do not profane it, and hold fast my covenant — these I will bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer; their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar; for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.”
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Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

Do what is right. Maintain justice. Be His servant. Hold fast His covenant. 

As a mom of teenagers, I recognize how difficult it can be to do as you’re told in the face of pressure from peers and society. I think of their desire for the deep well inside them to be filled, their struggles with their emotions, and their navigation of a world that is confusing and full of empty promises. My love for them wants to insist “do as I say”, because I know they can trust me and my experience, but they don’t necessarily know this unless they truly know my love for them.

So it has been for me with God. I remember at one point in my Christian journey, I prayed an earnest prayer of desperation: 

“God, if what they say is true, and You love me, and I can trust You, (I really want to trust You, because what You promise is better than what I’ve been able to produce in my life so far)… ” 

Surrender. 

I’m sure most parents would agree that the intensity and depth of our love for our children is unparalleled. When challenges have come with my teens, I have worried about their well-being, blamed my parenting, worried for their future, and wanted to take away their pain. I’ve desperately wanted them to understand where I’m coming from. 

My love and concern for them can very easily turn into a desire to hold on tight, which is in part to protect them, but also, if I’m honest, it's about myself. Feeling out the edges in the place where their experiences and perspectives meet mine has been one of the more difficult processes of discernment that I’ve encountered in my life. Over the last couple of years, I’ve realized that they won’t trust me unless they truly know my love for them — and that’s not about me.

Scripture shows us how God as our Father has done the same thing… insisting over and over — this is who I am. I love You. You can trust Me. He has gone to tremendous lengths to show us these things — and yet, He does not control us. In fact, He sets us completely free because He knows that we will eventually find our way to Him. My own experience as a parent means that I can barely comprehend the depth of pain that must be in God’s heart for His children; we who have not heeded His call to virtue.

I thank God for the gift of His Church, which is manifest in my life as those who have seen my mothering with compassion and helped me to see my children with the same eyes. Those who have helped me to do my best to understand my children’s desires and to redirect them toward God — the only one who can fulfill them. Those who, in the name of Jesus, have helped me do what is right, maintain justice, be His servant, and to hold fast to His covenant.

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Lindsay Elford

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