Dwell Richly

A Reflection on the Second Reading for December 29th, 2019:
The Feast of the Holy Family

COLOSSIANS 3:12-21

12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, 13 forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

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Saint Paul’s directions to the Colossians are no easy endeavours! Without “all wisdom”, as he reminds us, there is great potential to cause real and lasting damage to relationships when we “admonish” and “bear with” one another. The truth is, depending on where we are and what we know, we all have a different perspective on life and its challenges. It is often preferable to normalize, minimize, and avoid our painful experiences so that they hurt less, and to use our subjective experiences to justify our behaviour rather than face our pain honestly and objectively. At many times in my life, I have been blind to my own pain out of self-protection and fear, and therefore oblivious to the motivations behind my behaviour. When I look back now on pain that has been processed and understood through a lens of faith, I can see how my behaviour was damaging to those around me because of my desire to protect my wounded heart. 


There is a reason why social media is a feeding frenzy of opinions and emotions… it is in many ways easier to thrust one’s position into the relative anonymity and physical distance of an online platform (or even to send an email) than it is to speak face to face with someone’s heart. So often, we jump into the fray without being invited. I have made the mistake of dispensing unsolicited advice when the relationship did not have the depth to support the weight of such ‘admonishment’. At those times, I had been lacking in wisdom and caused lasting damage to those relationships. 


I find myself struggling with wanting to share my position and opinions with those around me: tempted by the public debate, frustrated by uninformed opinion, and fearful of the backlash. My desire to enter in on this level can be prideful, and so I realize that it must be carefully discerned. I believe it requires the grace of humility to step back from the fray, to allow the Holy Spirit to present us with personal opportunities to listen and to be curious about the experiences of others. I often lack either the presence of mind to recognize an opportunity when it presents itself or the courage to embrace a chance to engage. I think this is what St. Paul means when he asks us to be clothed with compassion; that our disposition before others might allow them to see themselves through the eyes of a loving God who desires their good. I believe that the more we courageously enter into a patient, observant, and curious personal encounter with those around us, the ripple effect of that grace is much wider than a stone thrown into the middle of a great anonymous battle. 


Let us pray: May we all dwell richly in the Word of God and therefore in the midst of our relationships — both the ones we most treasure and the ones that most provoke and challenge us. In doing so, may we bring the heart of Christ to others. ​



Lindsay Elford

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