"Emptied and Filled": A Reflection on the Gospel for August 26th, 2018: Twenty-First Sunday in Ordinary Time

John 6:60-69

​60 Many of his disciples, when they heard it, said, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?" 61 But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples murmured at it, said to them, "Do you take offense at this? 62 Then what if you were to see the Son of man ascending where he was before? 63 It is the spirit that gives life, the flesh is of no avail; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. 64 But there are some of you that do not believe." For Jesus knew from the first who those were that did not believe, and who it was that would betray him. 65 And he said, "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father." 66 After this many of his disciples drew back and no longer went about with him. 67 Jesus said to the twelve, "Do you also wish to go away?" 68 Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; 69 and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God."

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As I write, I imagine myself to be a disciple in first century Palestine.  I am an ordinary peasant woman. I’m drawn to Jesus, because His words speak into my heart. Sometimes, He talks in riddles I don’t understand, yet strangely everything in me tells me His words are truth and in them I feel alive and have hope. The sun is beating down on my head as I sit at Jesus’ feet. His words seep into my being. I can’t believe it, He’s talking about cannibalism! Is He asking me to eat His body and drink His blood? No Jew can drink blood. The pagans do that! Even I know that Leviticus 17:10 forbids it. It’s revolting and as for munching on his flesh… I see people leaving, the words are offensive—yet I don’t want to leave. I hear Peter say, “Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” I feel there is a mystery here, something is about to happen. I trust Jesus.

I’m now back to myself as a Catholic woman in the 21st Century. I believe the body and blood of Jesus is present in the Eucharist but I know I need grace to assimilate, if not completely understand the enormity of this mystery. It is pure gift. Jesus was beaten and bruised, He hung on a cross to give me (us) this gift of Himself.  I have Eternal life, not just in the future but right now. All my possessions in this material world mean nothing. As I line up to receive the Eucharist, I reflect on this miracle. I feel awe. God is giving Himself to me—He wants union and deep connection with me—now and forever.  I don’t feel worthy, but I know it’s not about my worthiness. It’s about my ability to trust and surrender to Him. I try to empty myself of my self-sufficiency, self-righteousness and visual distraction. I close my eyes. All I have to offer Him are my current and past imperfections, my grief, my trauma, my joys, hopes and fears.

I receive Christ’s presence within and sit quietly in my pew. I feel intimacy, a companionship. I feel more real to myself as Christ lives within me. “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). I soak up the peace. I know God will change me to become more like Him at His pace and in His time. I do not have to strive.

I look round at the Church community I am “in communion” with. The people are the church and the church is the body of Christ. Saint Augustine said that the church is a “Hospital for Sinners.”

I know I am home.

I feel gratitude and I silently whisper “Eucharisteo,” or “Thank you.”

Let us pray: Dear Lord, Thank you for Your love and the sacrifice of Your body and blood.  Our refuge and eternity are in You.

Liz Galsworthy

"God is giving Himself to me—He wants union and deep connection with me—now and forever." - Liz Galsworthy (Ora Reflections)