Feel the Feels

A Reflection on the First Reading for September 13th, 2020:
Twenty-Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Sirach
27.30 – 28.7

Anger and wrath, these are abominations, yet a sinner holds on to them. The vengeful person will face the Lord’s vengeance, for he keeps a strict account of their sins. Forgive your neighbour the wrong that is done, and then your sins will be pardoned when you pray.

Does anyone harbour anger against another, and expect healing from the Lord? If one has no mercy toward another like oneself, can one then seek pardon for one’s own sins? If one who is but flesh harbours wrath, who will make an atoning sacrifice for that person’s sins?

Remember the end of your life, and set enmity aside; remember corruption and death, and be true to the commandments. Remember the commandments, and do not be angry with your neighbour; remember the covenant of the Most High, and overlook faults.
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Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

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I have to admit, I read the first reading for Sunday and immediately went on the defensive. I think for too long I have been told, both explicitly and implicitly, that anger is bad — that I shouldn’t feel angry, that it is wrong to feel angry. I think this is something we, as women in particular, are conditioned to believe. But, of course, I do feel angry at times. And so I have dealt with anger by shutting it down — by ignoring it, by pretending it wasn’t there, by refusing to acknowledge the things that were making me angry. This was not healthy or helpful at all, because our feelings are real and our feelings are important and our feelings are not bad. 


Our feelings tell us about how we are affected by life — by the things that happen to us, and the things that happen around us. We have to acknowledge our feelings, sit with them, and learn from them. Shutting down our feelings does not allow us to do any of those things, and so we can get stuck in our anger if we refuse to acknowledge it.


I think I went on the defensive with this passage because at first glance it appears to be telling me that it is bad to feel angry. But it’s not saying that at all. God is not afraid of or upset by our anger. He understands that there are a great many injustices and disappointments in life that warrant anger. Things are not as they should be in this world — disease, poverty, pain, violence, and oppression are all rampant. And so it is completely reasonable to feel angry. God invites us to bring our feelings to Him — not to stuff them down, but to pray them out with Him. He can take it. He sees us just as we are and loves us without condition.


So the problem is not having the feeling of anger, it is what we do with that feeling. It is completely natural and normal to feel angry at times. That is not wrong. Where we run into trouble is when we act out of our feeling of anger. Anger is not the problem, but acting out of anger is. Every day when we interact with others in our lives, we have the choice to act out of anger or out of love. We are invited to see others as God sees them and to act out of love for Him and for them. 


In my life this is a work in progress. We won’t always get it right. Thankfully, every morning is a new opportunity to learn more about the great love God has for each one of us.




Morgan M.

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