Four Words

A Reflection on the Second Reading for October 13th, 2019:
Twenty-Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time

2 Timothy 2.8-13

Beloved: Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, a descendant of David — that is my Gospel, for which I suffer hardship, even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But the word of God is not chained.

Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, so that they may also obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

The saying is sure:
  If we have died with him,
    we will also live with him;
  if we endure,
    we will also reign with him;
  if we deny him,
    he will also deny us;
  if we are faithless,
    he remains faithful
​    — for he cannot deny himself.

---

I can’t get by this one part.


Looking at this slice from a letter Paul sent to Timothy, I have this list of 16 words I want to dig into… to play in the Greek poetry Saint Paul wrote.  


The pairing of compound words and contrasts. Like ones we see as ‘hardship’ and ‘criminal’, both sitting on a building block of a word that means evil or crap. Enduring Crap-feelings or being seen as a Crap-worker in the eyes of society. What Paul is willing to go through or be seen as, if only his Gospel, the Well News, the Beautiful News, the Good News, can get out.


The way Paul sidles up right next to each other both words of surety and of precariousness. ‘Elect’ —called or named out from among. The calling out is certain. Most assuredly Jesus is standing at the door and knocking, calling out, desiring all. And ‘may obtain’ — may hit the mark, may land home. This word Paul pens in the subjunctive — the woulda, shoulda, coulda of the verb-world for writers. He will 'endure', literally remain-under, anything as long as it lets him be part of giving people a chance to turn that knob, open that door, find home in Jesus.

"Saint Paul will 'endure', literally remain-under, anything as long as it lets him be part of giving people a chance to turn that knob, open that door, find home in Jesus."

Tweet

And then there’s this list at the end; the list Paul heads up under the title of Sure Things. I fall into the pattern, the rhythm of the pairs in the list, and my brain starts to skip ahead and supply the mate to each word just before I read it. To his ‘if we have died’, my mind anticipates ‘live’.  To his ‘remain under’ my mind anticipates ‘rule over’. To his ‘if we deny him’, my mind supplies ‘he will deny us.’ To his ‘if we are faithless’, my mind supplies… the wrong answer. The final one fools me. I didn’t see it coming. Not faithless. He remains faithful. 


And then comes the part I can’t get by, that orbits around the gravitational centre of the word ‘deny’. Or more closely cut to the bone of the word Paul chose, ‘stop pouring forth or cease speaking into existence’, That kind of deny.


These 4 words at the end are so heavy, as soon as I pick them up I can’t play with the other words. When I pick these ones up I cannot seem to stand on my own two feet, I hold them to my chest and I sink to the floor under the weight of them. On my knees before Him. On my face before Him. He cannot deny Himself. He is Faithful. He cannot deny Himself. He cannot pour forth or speak into existence anything other than who He Is. The I Am. And He Is faithful. No more words except those.  


He cannot deny Himself
          Il ne peut se démentir
                 negare seipsum non potest  
                        ní íhéadann sé é féin a shéanadh
                            denn er kann sich selbst nicht verleugnen
                                    ἑαυτὸν οὐ δύναται
He
Cannot
Deny
Himself
​

Noreen Smith

---