God of Mercy

A Reflection on the First Reading for August 8th, 2021:
Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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1 Kings
19.4-8

Elijah went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die: “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.”

Then Elijah lay down under the broom tree and fell asleep. Suddenly an Angel touched him and said to him, “Get up and eat.” He looked, and there at his head was a cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. He ate and drank, and lay down again.

The Angel of the Lord came a second time, touched him, and said, “Get up and eat, otherwise the journey will be too much for you.” Elijah got up, and ate and drank; then he went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb the mountain of God.
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Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

​“Now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.”


These were the words uttered by Elijah, a holy man and prophet of the God of mercy and love, after arranging the execution of 450 men. In these words, I can hear the anguish of a man torn between the person he believed that he was, and the actions he had just committed.

One of the struggles that every human should face, and that every Christian is obliged to confront, is the darkness that exists within all of us. Having free will, we are capable of so much good and so much bad at the same time. Our free will is a gift in that it empowers the “yes” that we give to God when we choose to act with love, but it also condemns us in those moments when we don’t.

Contending with the reality that as a human being, I not only have the capacity to commit evil, but have done so in the past grievously, and continue to do so in the present despite my best efforts, is alleviated by the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I’ve grappled with the presence of evil in my life in the context of God’s mercy. It is a wonderful and generous gift to be absolved of our sins because of Love and for no other reason. However, one of the stumbling blocks that comes with receiving God’s mercy and forgiveness is that it doesn’t really change anything unless you truly believe that you’re forgiven. The only way that I’ve been able to truly believe it is by forgiving myself and others.

I don’t believe that there’s a universal way of coming to terms with receiving mercy and forgiveness. We all have to find a way for it to make sense to ourselves within the context of our lives and personal experiences. For myself, receiving mercy has meant acknowledging that it isn’t enough to learn the difference between right and wrong by being told it: living it, and experiencing it from both sides, as victim and culprit, has enriched my understanding of the truth that there are some things that are just BAD, and no amount of rationalizing or excusing can justify them.

Choosing to be merciful and forgiving in no way condones or minimizes bad behaviour; letting it slide without punishment. Quite the opposite: you can’t give your forgiveness to someone who doesn’t believe that they’ve done anything wrong. Just the same, you can’t be merciful to someone who isn’t guilty.

As the Sacrament of Reconciliation so beautifully illustrates, it is repentance and a sincere commitment to do better that makes mercy and forgiveness so powerful, giving credence to our ability to learn, grow, and change, which is needed on the path of wisdom.




Laura Dysart

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