God Unites All

A Reflection on the Psalm for June 6th, 2021:
The Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ

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Psalm 116

R. I will lift up the cup of salvation, and call on the name of the Lord.

What shall I return to the Lord for all his bounty to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. 

R. I will lift up the cup of salvation, and call on the name of the Lord.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful ones. O Lord, I am your servant, the son of your serving girl. You have loosed my bonds. 

R. I will lift up the cup of salvation, and call on the name of the Lord.

I will offer to you a thanksgiving sacrifice and call on the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people. 

R. I will lift up the cup of salvation, and call on the name of the Lord.

Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

My first experience with death happened when I was nine. I remember playing upstairs with my sister, being called downstairs by my Mom, seeing tears in her eyes, and hearing her say to us, “Girls, I have some very sad news to share. Nanny passed away, in her sleep, last night… ”

I was shocked, and immediately denied it, “No, that can’t be true.” Nanny was relatively young, in good health, and we had visited her and Papa just a few weeks prior. I don’t remember ever having talked to anyone about death before that point, but soon I had innumerable questions. No answer satisfied me. I felt incredible pain, heartache, guilt, and anger.

For months, nothing brought me comfort, I refused to engage in conversations, I would not smile or laugh, and (in the moments when I did not feel numb) I willfully suppressed my emotions. The one thing I allowed myself to feel was fury at God. When I asked why Nanny had to die, a family member replied, “God wanted her to be with Him in heaven.” I interpreted that as “selfish”, as Him taking her away from me. I felt abandoned by her, and by God, and I desperately missed Nanny’s presence and love. I didn’t completely reject God though, because I saw Him as my only means of communicating with her.

About 15 years later, I had grown immensely in my faith, and I also gained a spiritual director. This priest helped me to recognize my feelings of abandonment, realize my mourning and healing process was incomplete, and he graciously offered to celebrate a small, personal mass in Nanny’s memory. This kind act helped me pray and really come to know and trust that God unites all members of the Church (the living and the dead) in the Eucharist, in the holy sacrifice of the mass. The Body and Blood of Christ makes us one in Holy Communion with all our loved ones, all who are faithful to God, and it is the cup of salvation, of His Blood, that reminds us that Jesus has conquered death.

I understand the line, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful ones,” as one that points to the hope of the resurrection. Those who are faithful to Him are not dead, but alive in Him, and I pray that those who are closest to His heart who have gone before us will intercede for us as we strive to live faithful, fruitful, free lives, totally surrendered to the will of God.




Kendra L.

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