He Cannot be Contained

A Reflection on the First Reading for August 30th, 2020:
Twenty-Second Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Jeremiah
20.7-9

O Lord, you have enticed me, and I was enticed; you have overpowered me, and you have prevailed. I have become a laughingstock all day long; everyone mocks me. For whenever I speak, I must cry out, I must shout, “Violence and destruction!” For the word of the Lord has become for me a reproach and derision all day long.

If I say, “I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,” then within me there is something like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.
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Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

Sometimes when I am weary I wonder, like the prophet Jeremiah, is anyone listening?

 
I know that God sent us His only Son. Does anyone care?

 
And that Son died for our sins. Does it matter?

 
Oh and by the way, He rose from the dead, conquering death for all. Do you hear this people? Why don’t people get it?? Sometimes it feels like an uphill battle to proclaim God’s goodness. 



Have you ever thought, “I’m done with this Church stuff. God’s got it covered. God doesn’t need me to do anything”? When I was 18 my world changed, and I thought exactly this. My mother died—three weeks into my first year of university. I had just begun to gain a deeper understanding of my faith and who Jesus is. I was active in youth ministry, but all of sudden I had responsibilities to my father and younger brother that I didn’t have before. My to-do list only grew with school, part-time work, my friends, my family, this new church “stuff”. I began to wonder what I could give up to give myself some breathing room. I could let go of the faith stuff. It was new. I wasn’t that invested. To be clear, I wasn’t giving up on God, rather, I was leaving the doing of church “stuff” to those who had time to do it. After all, what did it matter if I did “not mention him, or speak any more in his name”? And so, I focused on life. 



While I focused on life, God continued to focus on me. Even though I had decided that I could put God on the sidelines (Ha!) He kept me in the center of His heart and chipped away at the stone wall that was around mine. He continued to gently chip away at it until I was ready to feel Love move and stir my heart, lighting a fire in me to bring about not just words but also actions that speak of God’s love. Looking back, I noticed I was the one who did the moving—away from Him. God stayed still, yet with me, waiting for me to come back—which I did. Six months later I was serving in youth ministry again. I couldn’t walk away. God was still doing good things in and through me and I couldn't contain that.  



Once at Mass I sat behind two five year old girls. When the familiar musical introduction to the gospel acclamation began to play, they immediately looked at each other wide eyed, clasped hands, and excitedly whispered to one another, “It’s time!” And they belted out the Alleluias as they should be sung—full of joy, excitement, and of course, dancing. They could not contain themselves! This is the feeling I need to remember when I am weary. In good times and bad, God has abundant joy and excitement (and probably some dancing) for me that I must witness.


​He cannot be contained. 
 




Aurea Sadi

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