Letting Go

A Reflection on the First Reading for September 8th, 2019:
​Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time

Wisdom 9.13-18

For who can learn the counsel of God?
Or who can discern what the Lord wills?
For the reasoning of mortals is worthless,
and our designs are likely to fail;
for a perishable body weighs down the soul,
and this earthly tent burdens the thoughtful mind.

We can hardly guess at what is on earth,
and what is at hand we find with labour;
but who has traced out what is in the heavens?
Who has learned your counsel,
unless you have given wisdom
and sent your holy spirit from on high?

And thus the paths of those on earth were set right,
and people were taught what pleases you,
and were saved by wisdom.

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Oh, but it tempts me to think that I can determine the direction of things! I can micromanage with the best of them. Give me a great idea, and I can wring out the fun in a matter of seconds by seeking and finding all the what-ifs and negative possibilities. I’ve worked hard over the years at proving my brilliant foresight and attention to detail to the world!


When I pray about why I have the tendency to do this, I realize that fear and pride are the culprits. It’s so difficult to overcome these subtle and subversive habits… fear of failure, wanting to be ‘right’, fear of things going wrong, pride in self-sufficiency, fear of suffering, fear of having to extend myself too far in love. The roots of these are sometimes deep, and over the years, in His gentle way, God has been revealing them to me and healing them, bit by bit. I still have a ways to go, but I have found that seeking Him in His wisdom is key — asking why and learning that He, in the form of Love, accompanies me into the experience of the painful answers. Prayer is the answer.

"Knowing that God can be found in everything, whether it is our ideal or not, is central to letting go of control."

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My perishable body indeed weighs down my soul, but I am learning that it doesn’t have to be this way. God, in His infinite wisdom, provides a path when we surrender. What does it mean to surrender? Knowing that God can be found in everything, whether it is our ideal or not, is central to letting go of control. Willingly opening to the humility of honest self-examination, knowing that He is present to love us and help us through the painful truth of our failings, is surrender. Remembering that so far, in the big things in my life, God has shown me that His way is always better than my way, helps me to know that His way is better in the small things too. 


This is but one of the reasons why I am grateful for the closest relationships in my life, because through the earnest pursuit of healthy marriage, family, and beautiful friendship, I have a safe space in which to both give and receive the feedback and forgiveness I need to heal and be healed, in the name of Jesus. These are gifts from a wise, loving God who just wants us to let go to Him.


Let us pray:
Heavenly Father, reveal to us the ways in which we try to rely on our own wisdom instead of Yours. Heal us all to the very roots of our pride and fear, and help us to trust You in all things, big and small. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.


Lindsay Elford

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