Outside the Box

A Reflection on the First Reading for September 11th, 2022:
Twenty-Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Exodus
32.7-11, 13-14

The Lord said to Moses, “Go down at once! Your people, whom you brought up out of the land of Egypt, have acted perversely; they have been quick to turn aside from the way that I commanded them; they have cast for themselves an image of a calf, and have worshipped it and sacrificed to it, and said, ‘These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!’”

The Lord said to Moses, “I have seen this people, how stiff-necked they are. Now let me alone, so that my wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them; and of you I will make a great nation.”

But Moses implored the Lord his God, and said, “O Lord, why does your wrath burn hot against your people, whom you brought out of the land of Egypt with great power and with a mighty hand? Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, your servants, how you swore to them by your own self, saying to them, ‘I will multiply your descendants like the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have promised I will give to your descendants, and they shall inherit it forever.’”

And the Lord changed his mind about the disaster that he planned to bring on his people.

Idolization has a broad scope. We can idolize anything from pop culture to our own religious artifacts. Moses’ conversation with God seems to reveal that this practice we have of allowing people and things to occupy the throne of our hearts, where God is meant to sit, is not pleasing to Him. And if it doesn’t please Him, it won’t fulfill us either.
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I have recently become aware of an idol in my own heart: a person, and a great spiritual teacher to me. And as it turns out, also, a sinner. We’re all sinners by the way, so I’m not sure why this surprises me. But perhaps I was caught off guard because of this sneaky sin of idolatry. Even tremendous people, holy people, who I revere and look up to, are members of the fallen race. They are not gods. God cannot be contained — He lives outside the box. Attuning my heart by continually placing my hope and trust in God Himself is my only recourse against idolatry (after a solid confession, that is). 

Speaking of confessions, in his book titled Confessions, Saint Augustine said, “I loved beautiful things of a lower order and I was going down to the depths.” This quote exemplifies for me the act of idolatry: loving the things of a lower order that drag me down rather than lifting me up. Why do I create gods out of imperfect things? Out of finite things? Out of fleeting images of goodness? Out of that which can never offer me the perfect love I seek? 

Perhaps it’s because there are times in life when I simply feel tired. This feeling can lead me to believe the lie that because of my fatigue, I am separate from God, somehow. This sense of spiritual desolation can leave me feeling lost. Loneliness, hurt, suffering, and even the demands of a busy life can tempt me to grasp for anything that resembles love or comfort. But I must hold everything in this life with an open hand. This world, and the things I hold onto in it, can seem so tangible — I crave the tangible. But there is nothing here that I can hold forever. The tangibility is fleeting and I must wrap my mind and my heart around this truth. Grieving that which I’ve lost in this world is natural and a right response to loss, but acceptance of the inevitability of loss in this world is what will keep my heart secure in the place where it belongs: eternity. 

When I close my eyes, I can see the purest love in human form waiting to embrace me. Jesus waits there, at the centre of everything, and outside of everything. He is the eternal promise and deserves to be the focus of my worship and sacrifice. The things of this world can leave me feeling lost, but I am found in Him.  

I give You the box, Lord — every idol I have worshipped and tried to contain You in — to open, to burn in the light of Your fire, to shatter. I don’t want to live in the box anymore, Jesus. You live outside the box, and I want to be where You are.



Lori MacDonald

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