Pax Vobiscum

A Reflection on the Gospel for April 28, 2019:
​2nd Sunday of Easter: Divine Mercy

John 20:19-31
When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.  Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.’  

When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.  If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.’

But Thomas, who was called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came.  So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord.’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.’
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A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’  Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.’  Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’  Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.’

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book.  But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

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I can only imagine the feelings that would have been in the room that day the disciples were gathered together after Jesus had died — defeat, disappointment, anxiety, sadness, anger, betrayal, embarrassment, fear.  They had locked the door.  It’s interesting that the very first thing Jesus says to them speaks directly to those feelings.  When He stood among them He said, “Peace be with you.”  It was so important He actually said it twice.  Of course, peace is one of Jesus’ trademarks.  Long before He was born the prophet Isaiah said that He would be called “Prince of Peace.”   I once heard a Christmas homily where the priest talked about how desperately we need a Prince of Peace — in our world, in our countries, in our communities, in our homes, and in our hearts.  We need one at Easter-time too — or at least I do.  It’s so telling that when the risen Jesus first came to reveal Himself to his disciples that day He identified Himself as the Prince of Peace.

I think when Jesus approaches us today He still often leads with saying, “Peace be with you.”  When God has revealed Himself to me in my life it has often been with and by His peace.  I’ve never heard an audible voice from God.  I think He probably knows I wouldn’t do well with that.  But I do believe God has spoken to me directly at times.  When it has happened my thoughts have been spiralling — into negativity, into doubt, into fear, into self-criticism — and they are going from dark to darker.  In the middle of that spiral a centering, calming, comforting thought will break through and pop into my head with something like, “You are loved,” or “You are a child of God,” or a Bible verse.  Sometimes what breaks through cannot be articulated, but is simply a deep sense of peace. I am confident that those thoughts are not from me.  They are Jesus reaching out to me saying, “Peace be with you.”

It seems to me that if doubt isn’t an option, we are not talking about faith.

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In the Gospel today we hear about Saint Thomas who doubts.  Despite spending years of their lives following Jesus and witnessing His incredible miracles, the disciples are still so human.  I find this endlessly reassuring when I think about my own faith.  I’ve been a believer for a long time, but doubt has come along with faith for as long as I can remember.  Honestly, I’ve never really been too scared of doubt.  The letter to the Hebrews says “To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see.” (11:1)  So when we are talking about faith we are talking about belief in something that is very difficult to measure or prove.  It seems to me that if doubt isn’t an option, we are not talking about faith.  In the reading today Jesus met Thomas exactly where he was, in his doubts, and provided him with the peace he needed.  Jesus has done that for me too and I’m so grateful. 

Morgan MacKenzie

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