Quit Your Begging

A Reflection on the Second Reading for October 11th, 2020:
​Twenty-Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Philippians
4.12-14, 19-20

Brothers and sisters: I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. In any case, it was kind of you to share my distress.

My God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.
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Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

I must trust rather than beg in prayer.


My children are persistent—they will sometimes beg until I’m just about to break. Unfortunately for them, I rarely break and give in to their pleas—rather, if I break, they often lose both the thing they were asking for, and some other thing in addition to the original ask, because they did not respect my clear “no” in the first place.


I wonder if this is how God perceives my pleas, because I often find myself behaving like my relentless children: “Come on, God! Please! Help me with this!” The point I think I have been missing, though, is that the disposition of my heart matters when it comes to petitioning my Lord. And it is also true that the Lord cares most about the disposition of my heart.


Saint Paul nailed it with the heart posture he brought to his state of suffering. He, under great duress, maintained a steady and powerful faith, abiding in the promises of God, anchored in the belief that He would provide, continuing to bear fruit in the lives of others through his steady posture of trust. Secure.


I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.


As I pray about this disposition, a song begins to play in my head: All I Want is You.


How odd. Not praise and worship, but secular music. Still, God travels many avenues to impact our hearts, so, let’s roll with it. And I have to believe that Jesus is a huge U2 fan, anyway—because I am.


The song is written conversationally, with a statement phrase followed by a response phrase. The statement phrases are the words Bono is speaking to his wife, and the response phrases are her voice responding to his. This could very easily be a conversation between God and I. My desires versus His promises. But the culmination of the truth for both Bono and his wife lies in the chorus line. And this same line resonates with me as the antidote to my relentless begging in prayer: All I want is You.




Bono (or God):
You say you want
Diamonds on a ring of gold
You say you want
Your story to remain untold



Wife (or me):
You say you'll give me
A highway with no one on it
Treasure just to look upon it
All the riches in the night

You say you'll give me
Eyes in a moon of blindness
A river in a time of dryness
A harbour in the tempest



Bono (or God):
You say you want
Your love to work out right
To last with me through the night

You say you want
Diamonds on a ring of gold
Your story to remain untold
Your love not to grow cold



Chorus (or truth):
All the promises we make
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you





What I hear when I sing this song, is my own tug and pull with the Lord: "But Lord, You said You would provide this and I’m not feeling it!" But now, as I settle into prayer, my heart rings out, “All I want is You,” and all of me relaxes into the comfortable armchair of His Love, with a warm blanket gathered around me, and a deep peace in my heart.


I trust You.
​All I want is You, Jesus.




Lori MacDonald

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