Replenishment

A Reflection on the Gospel for Sunday, August 13th, 2023:
​Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Matthew
14.22-33

Immediately after feeding the crowd with the five loaves and two fish, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray.

When evening came, he was there alone, but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land, for the wind was against them.

And early in the morning Jesus came walking toward them on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.”

Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” Jesus said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Pause. Pray. Reflect.

I have spent a lot of time with this scripture passage in the last while. The most dramatic aspect of this reading has been my main focus — the near drowning of Saint Peter as he briefly takes his eyes off of Jesus — a scenario I can relate to. I identify with his confrontational nature, his belief intermingled with scepticism, with his reactive anxiety. 

On my most recent read-through, however, it is the very first paragraph that draws me in. Although this paragraph appears simply to introduce the more critical section of the reading, I believe that the practice Jesus introduces here is an essential discipline for every Christian to mature into. He first takes care of everyone — He feeds them corporally and spiritually and then Hen sets the disciples off in the direction He needs them to go — and then (the most striking part for me) He goes to the Father so that He himself might be replenished.

How do I view replenishment? Truthfully, I rarely take notice of, or attend to, my physical thirsts let alone my spiritual ones. Am I willing to admit that fulfilling both of these thirsts is essential to my life? In John 10:10 Jesus said, “I came so that they might have life and have it abundantly.” ABUNDANTLY. Do I want this? The obvious answer is yes, yet the world tells me that I must work rather than rest to achieve abundance. It’s possible, though, that both can be true. And to work and rest well, I must intentionally step out of the driver’s seat and let Jesus take the wheel. Otherwise, my passivity will leave me on the rollercoaster the world wants me to ride.

As the most diversified and perfectly integrated leader the world has ever known, Jesus shows me how to get off the rollercoaster that drives me deep beneath the waves. He leads out of the replenishment of His Father’s love. On the heels of a grace-filled, yet emotionally and spiritually depleting event, He goes into a place of togetherness with the Father. There, He receives the nourishment and strength He will require to continue to live out His Father’s will. 

Without this time with my Father, how am I to know His will? How am I to rest in His mercy? How am I to live an abundant life? I cannot.  

In a recent, spirit-filled conversation, a friend illuminated for me the importance of following Jesus into this habit. Even the most spiritually uplifting endeavours will leave me depleted of God’s grace if I am not intentional about scheduling a recovery time with Him. It seems obvious that I must seek God before entering into work, meals, or my day-to-day life. But I often forget about reconvening with Him in the aftermath.

My Father, my leader, my Lord: help me to accept my human limitations and recover with You. Help me to trust that time spent in Your presence is never wasted. Lead me to the truth that rest is good and necessary and will replenish me with an abundance of You.

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Lori MacDonald

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