Running

A Reflection on the First Reading for September 22nd, 2019:
Twenty-Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Amos 8.4-7

Hear this, you that trample on the needy, and bring to ruin the poor of the land, saying, “When will the new moon be over so that we may sell grain; and the Sabbath, so that we may offer wheat for sale? We will measure out less and charge more, and tamper with the scales, buying the poor for silver and the needy for a pair of sandals, and selling the sweepings of the wheat.”

The Lord has sworn by the pride of Jacob: “Surely I will never forget any of their deeds.”

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Oh my Lord, this is hard.


The ones You were talking about can’t wait to get away from You fast enough. They are bent on getting out of the exposure to You that a Sabbath implies. 


The telling in Genesis reveals that Sabbath was the pinnacle of what You made… You and Your creation resting together.  Communing.  


Your exploits with Moses exhort that at the rising of each New Moon the shofar should sound, calling out a day set aside for the spiritual renewal of the whole community. They are to greet each other. One to say, ‘Shalom Alechem!’ Peace be with you! And the other to reply, ‘Alechem Shalom!’ Upon you, peace!  Community.


But resting in Your Presence is an uncomfortable fit when something else is driving them. They don’t want to see You or themselves. You might get in the way of a strongly held, deeply loved desire. They yearn for the security of wealth. Apparent plenty. And all the prestige and power that goes with it. They grasp for it, finagle for it, scheme for it. They can’t wait to get back to gaining at the expense of others. Others who are vulnerable. And the more they deaden themselves to the ability to truly see You and who they are becoming, the more they don’t see others either.  And then the more they treat what was supposed to be a community as a commodity for their consumption, the more they want to cover their nakedness so that You and they can’t see it. And the more they don’t want to see You as a Person, the more they don’t see others as people. And the more they hide from You, the more the broken desire drives them and the whole cycle deepens with each passing turn.

Oh my Lord, the hard part is that I have spent time caught in that cycle. 

"And still, You never forgot where I was. You never lost track of me."  ​

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But resting in Your Presence is an uncomfortable fit when something else is driving me. I don’t want to see You or myself. You might get in the way of a strongly held, deeply loved desire. I yearn for the security of approval from another. Apparent value. And all the repletion and pleasure that goes with it. I grasp for it, finagle for it, scheme for it.  I can’t wait to get back to gaining at the expense of others. Others who are vulnerable. And the more I deaden myself to the ability to truly see You and who I am becoming, the more I don’t see others either.  And then the more I treat what was supposed to be a community as a commodity for my consumption, the more I want to cover my nakedness so that You and I can’t see it. And the more I don’t want to see You as a Person, the more I don’t see others as people.  And the more I hide from You, the more the broken desire drives me and the whole cycle deepens with each passing turn. 


And still, You never forgot where I was. You never lost track of me.  
You showed me the way out was to flip the first sentence.  
Don’t run away. Run to You. No matter what.  
Only conceivable because in Your incomprehensible compassion
You came to the cross
​For me.


​Noreen Smith

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