The First Relationship

A Reflection on the First Reading for February 24, 2019:
Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time

1 Samuel 

Saul rose and went down to the Wilderness of Ziph, with three thousand chosen men of Israel, to seek David in the Wilderness of Ziph.

David and Abishai went into Saul’s army by night; there Saul lay sleeping within the encampment, with his spear stuck in the ground at his head; and Abner and the army lay around him. Abishai said to David, “God has given your enemy into your hand today; now therefore let me pin him to the ground with one stroke of the spear; I will not strike him twice.” But David said to Abishai, “Do not destroy him; for who can raise his hand against the Lord’s anointed, and be guiltless?”

So David took the spear that was at Saul’s head and the water jar, and they went away. No one saw it, or knew it, nor did anyone awake; for they were all asleep, because a deep sleep from the Lord had fallen upon them.

Then David went over to the other side, and stood on top of a hill far away, with a great distance between them. David called aloud to Saul, “Here is the spear, O king! Let one of the young men come over and get it. The Lord rewards everyone for his righteousness and his faithfulness; for the Lord gave you into my hand today, but I would not raise my hand against the Lord’s anointed. As your life was precious today in my sight, so may my life be precious in the sight of the Lord, and may he rescue me from all tribulation.”

Then Saul said to David, “Blessed be you, my son David! You will do many things and will succeed in them.” So David went his way, and Saul returned to his place.

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This reading from Samuel, in our lectionary, leaves out a number of lines between verses 1 and 25, but it is worth reading the entire passage. Actually, the whole of 1 and 2 Samuel are worth reading, since they contain the twists and turns of the complicated relationship between Saul and David. This is the second time Saul has tried to kill David and when David had the chance he did not retaliate. Saul repented the first time as well and vowed to change his ways. We know how that worked out! David however, leaves revenge in the hands of the Lord God.

“If vengeance belongs to God, it does not belong to us, so we are to love our enemies and never repay evil with evil.” (David Guzik)

David is not without sin, but unlike Saul, David returns time and time again to the Lord God, confessing his sins and asking forgiveness. David was tempted but he resisted, he kept faith with God and he lived in the hope that Saul would truly repent and change his ways. But David couldn’t trust Saul. In that relationship there would never again be trust and because of that, they parted ways for good. Saul said all the right things but he was too self absorbed, too greedy for power, too jealous of David, and too narcissistic to see God’s love for him through David. Forgiveness is for us, but reconciliation and an ongoing relationship means repentance on the part of the offender. And true repentance means a complete 180 degree turn.

"Forgiveness is for us, but reconciliation and an ongoing relationship means repentance on the part of the offender. And true repentance means a complete 180 degree turn."

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In last week’s reading from Isaiah we read about putting your “trust in the Lord” and not in humans. But trust “in” is not the same as trusting someone. I put my trust at the deepest level, in God, but I cannot have any worthwhile and deep relationships with other people if I do not trust them. This doesn’t mean I will not get hurt and be tempted to hurt that person as much as they hurt me; to have my revenge. But at what cost? To never trust anyone again because of the fear of being hurt, is to not live fully. Love your enemy and do good to those who hate you, doesn’t mean you have to be friends with them. David blessed Saul but he still left him. Relationships with family, friends, neighbours, co-workers, brothers and sisters in Christ, are complex and sometimes messy.

​One of my favourite passages in all of Scripture is Psalm 51. It begins with these words of David and I make them my words: 

1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. 4 Against you, you alone, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.

Judy Savoy

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