The Gift in Fear

A Reflection on the First Reading for May 2nd, 2021:
​Fifth Sunday of Easter

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Acts
9.26-31

When Saul had come to Jerusalem, he attempted to join the disciples; and they were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple. But Barnabas took him, brought him to the Apostles, and described for them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who had spoken to him, and how in Damascus Saul had spoken boldly in the name of Jesus.

So Saul went in and out among them in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. He spoke and argued with the Hellenists; but they were attempting to kill him. When the believers learned of it, they brought Saul down to Caesarea and sent him off to Tarsus.

Meanwhile the Church throughout Judea, Galilee, and Samaria had peace and was built up. Living in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers.

Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

“Living in the fear of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 9:31)

Fear of the Lord is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. When I first heard of this gift I was a bit perplexed. How can fear be a gift? Fear has always been something I didn’t want. Well maybe a little fear on a fair ride but that’s always been plenty. When I was a young girl I was afraid of the dark. Especially if I couldn’t find the light switch! Then when I was a young adult I worked as a door to door salesperson for a few months. I found myself having to walk alone at night sometimes in rural communities where there weren’t any street lights. I had no choice but to face my fear and it turned out there wasn’t much to be afraid of in the first place. I was grateful not to be afraid of the dark anymore. But fear as a gift? Perplexing.
 
So what does “fear of the Lord” really mean? Fr. Donald Calloway describes the gifts of the Holy Spirit in his book, Consecration to Saint Joseph. This is what he says about it: “It is the fear that is the beginning of wisdom, detaching us from worldly pleasures that could in any way separate us from God.” 

Fear of the Lord to me means being fearful of becoming separated from God, and His grace and protection over my life. There was a time when God was not in my life. Not because He was far away from me but because I was far away from Him. I separated myself from Him. These were dark days for me and remember, I was afraid of the dark. When I asked God to be a part of my life and began to surrender control to Him, then the darkness began to fade. Allowing God to shine His light into my dark recesses was sometimes a painful process. At first I was afraid to let God into my life because of the changes that I might have to make. Over time I realized that the results of those changes were always welcomed and necessary. I’ve learned that it is in those lighted places that I experience the comfort of the Holy Spirit.
 
Now my greatest fear would be to live a life without God and to be denied eternity with Him. So if fear of the Lord causes me to long for His presence in my life and to strive to do His will, then yes, it is absolutely a gift and one I will gladly receive. 




Maxine Brown
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