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The Long Way

6/6/2023

8 Comments

 

A Reflection on the First Reading for June 11th, 2023:
The Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ


Deuteronomy
8.2-3, 14-16


Moses spoke to the people: “Remember the long way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, in order to humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commandments. He humbled you by letting you hunger, then by feeding you with manna, with which neither you nor your ancestors were acquainted, in order to make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.


“Do not exalt yourself, forgetting the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, who led you through the great and terrible wilderness, an arid wasteland with poisonous snakes and scorpions. He made water flow for you from flint rock, and fed you in the wilderness with manna that your ancestors did not know, to humble you and to test you, and in the end to do you good.”
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Deuteronomy speaks to us today of a phenomenon that anyone who has travelled the road of faith for any length of time would be familiar with: spiritual desolation. In his Spiritual Exercises, Saint Ignatius of Loyola describes the experiences of spiritual desolation "such as darkness of soul, disturbance in it, movement to low and earthly things, disquiet from various agitations and temptations, moving to lack of confidence, without hope, without love, finding oneself totally slothful, tepid, sad, and, as if separated from one's Creator and Lord." 

As we advance on our journey toward God, it is normal for us to rise and fall through periods of consolation and desolation. And, God can use times of desolation to observe our faithfulness: Are we faithful only when He is showering us with gifts, or do we cling to Him when life feels hard and unjust?

I have been experiencing depression in recent days, which can mimic some of the experiences of desolation, but they are not the same. Desolation deals with relationship, and my relationship with God, though emotionally taxing in this particular season, continues to grow. In fact, because of this relationship, I have experienced glimpses of Light.

I often find that God’s creation can collect me back into His arms. I must, however, be on the lookout for Him in it, and so, I regularly go Beauty-hunting. In the midst of this dark depression, on a bright, sunny spring morning, I set out to run an errand. Frankly, this scheduled errand is the only reason I got out of bed. As I drove along, I saw a father kicking a soccer ball with his son. I saw blossoms breaking free from the buds that contained them. I saw an elderly woman tending to her tulip garden, flourishing brighter than a rainbow. And I saw every conceivable shade of green in its splendour, a representation of the Spirit of Life that God gives us. And each life is different, isn’t it? Just as each hue of green varies from that of its sister’s, each of our lives has been given to us by Him to be lived differently — with different darknesses and unique purposes. But mostly, as I pause now, I see Light. I see it anew. And it is awakening me. And by it, He is drawing me back to Himself. 

Often, it is easier to believe the darkness. It’s easier to cower in the shadows, rather than standing in the Light that casts them. Yet Light is always waiting for us to turn around. Sometimes the shadows are so long, we can feel disheartened by the distance before us. But Light is never as far as it might seem. It is always there. There would be no shadows without it. 

So, dear sisters, let’s keep travelling this road together. Let’s look for the beauty beneath the darkness each day and cling to its truth. Let’s receive the manna from heaven with praise and wonder, though the distance between each gift may be long. As Chris Renzema says in one of my favourite tunes, Springtime, “The longer the quiet, the louder the chorus.” 

(For more information on spiritual desolation, check out this article by Christine Watkins)



Lori MacDonald
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8 Comments
Alana
6/6/2023 06:47:27 am

Thank you Lor. For this honest and authentic and vulnerable reflection. Praying for you and anyone experiencing depression or desolation - May we all be able to continue to see the Light and beauty and be able to receive and know God’s love, peace, and consolation in any darkness and difficult times. Amen. 😊🙏🏻💕xo

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Lori
6/6/2023 01:57:37 pm

I join my prayer with yours, dear sister. ♥️

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Lisa
6/6/2023 07:28:06 am

Ugh, being in a time of desolation sucks. I have experienced this myself and it surprises me how quickly I feel all of the things described by Saint Ignatius of Loyola. I am so grateful to my faith family for explaining to me that these times are normal and that they, too, shall pass. Thank you Lori, for sharing so vulnerably about your depression, and for teaching me about beauty hunting. This deliberate act of “hunting”, this intentional shift of perspective towards the light, always brings me closer to God. ❤️

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Lori
6/6/2023 02:02:52 pm

Lisa, I love how you highlight the importance of intentionality when we experience desolation. This is the ticket. Saint Ignatius advises we stay the course when desolation occurs: continue with our prayer routines, our ministry—the ties that bind us to our spiritual life. They are harder to engage in at these times, and they are therefore our path to growth. ♥️

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Patty
6/6/2023 09:49:28 am

Oh my dear Lori I sighed out loud reading your reflection, especially the ‘hues of green’. This is because just yesterday I had a very long walk in Point Pleasant Park the pouring rain. Coming around a corner on one path the trees were almost dripping green. No one was around so I thanked God out loud for all the shades of green and then tried to guess outloud again exactly how many shades He made from bright joyous green to ‘swamp green’. And then your relection the very next day!

So thank you gentle Father for hues of green, for the electric greens of life, and even the seemingly endless stretches of swamp green. And thank You for walking with our beloved sister Lori during a particularly difficult season. Please lift the shades to reveal renewal and abundant life. Amen.

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Lori
6/6/2023 02:05:47 pm

You are speaking my heart, dear sister. Walking in the rain is my favourite, and doesn’t the green sparkle when it’s wet? Thank you for your prayers, they have been holding me. And thank you for thanking God even for the swampy greens, for they too shall serve His purpose. ♥️

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Dinah Simmons
8/6/2023 09:56:35 am

I love this, Lori. It means a lot; it really speaks to me. Thank you and God bless.

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Lori
8/6/2023 10:40:25 am

Ah, Dinah—your life has been such a beautiful example of surrender to the long way of God’s grace. Thank you for witnessing your faithfulness to Him, and I thank Him for speaking to you today. ♥️

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