The Present Sacrament

A Reflection on the Second Reading for October 4th, 2020:
The Solemnity of Saint Francis of Assisi

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Philippians
4.6-9

Brothers and sisters: Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.
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Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

It is foolish and destructive, but my heart often seeks security in anxiety. Worrying gives me a sense of control. I justify it by insisting that if I analyze my past actions and decipher what impact they had I can anticipate and avoid future mistakes. I hypothesize about the future, conceiving every possible outcome, attempting to plan my responses in advance so that I can do well in any circumstance. Really, what I do is exhaust myself on a hamster wheel of mental exercises until I am confronted with reality — and usually what happens in the future is not as bad as I thought it would be, and I have to accept that by worrying I chose the least productive path. It is time I cannot restore, and a lost opportunity to choose love.

Saint Paul does not instruct us not to worry with a naïve assumption that there is nothing we should be concerned about in life. Anxiety is a natural response to perceived danger, and its associated physiological and cognitive elements are challenging to overcome. Saint Paul encourages us not to worry because he knows that nothing on earth is more frightening and dangerous than failing to become one with God. We are made for love — our Father fashioned us in and for love, which is to say, Himself. When we worry, we fail to be present to Him — and if we are not with Him, how can He be with us?

The present moment is a small “s” sacrament, in that God reveals Himself to us in the now.

He is.

Always.

Therefore, He is always with us and He invites us to abide in Him. To trust in His providence, to receive His peace, to give Him thanks and praise. As someone who has struggled with disproportionate and persistent anxiety, it hurt when I realized that I distance myself from God when I choose anxiety. The initial reaction often isn’t a choice for me, but it develops and I do recognize instances where I know I could implement management skills yet I give up because it is easier to let my mind go down the paths I have fashioned with years of practice. But, when I ask for help, when I surrender and admit that self-reliance is not getting me anywhere, the Holy Spirit takes me by the hand and leads me up towards a new path. Instead of sliding downhill or running in circles, it is a slow, steady, pilgrimage up a mountain. My muscles ache, I am frustratingly snail-paced at first, but eventually I just enter in and focus on each step. Every step I am here, now, with Him, looking ahead only as I need to adjust my footing.

It is a small, but essential, victory to learn to receive the sacrament of the present moment. Learning this habit is how I am growing virtue and slowly finding peace, and I pray the Spirit awakens all of us to this practice.




Kendra L.

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