"The Trust Test": A Reflection on the First Reading for September 23rd, 2018: Twenty-Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Wisdom 2:12 , 17-20

12 “Let us lie in wait for the righteous man, because he is inconvenient to us and opposes our actions; he reproaches us for sins against the law,
and accuses us of sins against our training.
​17 Let us see if his words are true,
and let us test what will happen at the end of his life; 18 for if the righteous man is God’s son, he will help him,
and will deliver him from the hand of his adversaries.
19 Let us test him with insult and torture, that we may find out how gentle he is, and make trial of his forbearance.
20 Let us condemn him to a shameful death, for, according to what he says, he will be protected.”

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When I read this scripture for the first time, I was deeply saddened by it. This excerpt is written years before Jesus walked the earth, but it calls to mind the point of view of the Pharisees at the time Jesus was here on Earth and describes their thoughts about Him. This prophecy revealed their utter lack of faith in Jesus and His identity. I cannot begin to imagine being in their position, thinking that Jesus is boastful and disingenuous. Although this reading saddened me, it also made me extremely thankful for my knowledge of God and the Christ-centered community that I am so grateful to be a part of. After reading this scripture, I began to reflect on how faith and belief is truly a gift from God. We are fulfilled by faith and trust in God. Our faith gives us purpose. When we are assured in God we can confidently follow through with His perfect plan for our lives. Of course, trust is easier to talk about than to implement in our lives. Trust is a conscious decision out of love that we must make over and over each day.

Having a true relationship with Jesus means that we cannot test God as if we have authority over Him. We have to teach ourselves to follow God’s will rather than expecting Him to work from our own will.

Sometimes I find myself in that terrible cycle—thinking that if God loves me, a certain event will happen or I will stop feeling anxious or distressed. In reality, God does not purposefully put us through things to make us suffer. But more often than not, I find it hard to trust in Him. With my perfectionist tendencies, I find it hard to let go of the fact that I do not have as much control over my life as I would like to. When I drift away from God, I fall into the misconception that He won’t know how to make me happy. When I finally realize that that is completely ridiculous because He made me and He instilled in me the desires and goals that I have, I always feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. God wants us to give our worries to Him so that He can help us, like any good father would. I know that it is not up to me to fully understand every detail of God’s will for my life. However, it is my responsibility to trust that His will for my life was made from Love and it is the path that will provide me with the most joy.

​Megan Noye

"[I]t is my responsibility to trust that His will for my life was made from Love and it is the path that will provide me with the most joy."
​- Megan Noye (Ora Reflections)

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