Tolerating Uncertainty

A Reflection on the Gospel for April 11th, 2021:
Divine Mercy Sunday

---

John
20.19-31

It was evening on the day Jesus rose from the dead, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews. Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.

Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

But Thomas, who was called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

After eight days his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!”

Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.
​

Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

When I feel uncertainty, my first reflex is to grasp at anything that might offer me some semblance of control. Fear and insecurity shift my mind into hyperdrive; my habit is to scrutinize and analyze situations based on what I know or imagine to be true. When Thomas insists that he needs to, “see in [Jesus’] hands the print of the nails, and place [his] finger in the mark of the nails” and his “hand in [Jesus’] side” to believe, I understand and empathize with his desire for tangible proof and a rational explanation for the extraordinary accounts from the other disciples.

Thomas endures a full week of wrestling with distrust, wondering how it could be possible that Jesus is risen. He surely questioned how, and why he had missed that first alleged Easter visit his friends were celebrating — and the unattainable answers likely caused him some anxiety. Then, eight days after the resurrection, Christ meets Thomas in his stubbornness and mercifully grants the intimate contact he had insisted on.

As wonderful as it must have been for Thomas to recognize his Lord and God, how simultaneously humbling to hear Jesus proclaim, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” In these words, I also hear Christ inviting me to deeper faith, trust, and surrender. In prayer I often ask God to show me the answers, help me understand, give me some special insight into a situation. Now I wonder how much freedom and joy I could experience by focusing on giving my heart to Him and instead asking Him to guide me along the path He has for me; even as my vision is obscured, and my intellect is weak. My mind insists that being able to reason my way through every doubt would ease my own anxieties. Yet, Jesus’ words make my heart believe that I will only find full freedom from anxiety in abandoning myself to His merciful and steadfast love. Let us pray that the Holy Spirit will grant us the grace to tolerate today’s uncertainties and enable us to give our hearts faithfully, fruitfully, freely, and totally to God.




Kendra L.

---