Trust Me

A Reflection on the Psalm for February 13th, 2022:
Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Psalm 1

R. Blessed the one who trusts in the Lord.

Blessed is the man who does not follow the advice of the wicked, or take the path that sinners tread, or sit in the seat of scoffers; but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law meditates day and night. 

R. Blessed the one who trusts in the Lord.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaves do not wither. And everything he does, prospers. 

R. Blessed the one who trusts in the Lord.

The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away, for the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

R. ​Blessed the one who trusts in the Lord.

We have all suffered or witnessed great trials, or tragedy, or spiritual or physical harm. I would argue it is evident that the human species and our earthly lives are deeply fallible; God illustrates this with the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden. We are so often at the whim of our imperfect environment and disordered impulses.  

I have mentioned before that my father died in an accident when I was 18 years old. I think the only way I survived that tragedy, spiritually speaking, was to rationalize that the probability that something else terrible would happen to me was likely very low — I’d received my cross to bear and now I could relax. I was tough and disciplined, and could hold myself up. And I did. 

Later in my life, when I encountered God, omniscient, omnipotent, all–powerful and who apparently loves me, I subconsciously avoided the agonizing question of why He allowed that accident to happen and my dad to die. I wanted to believe that He loves me; I actually experienced His love for me; I was convinced of it. Still, it took me a long time to summon up the courage to go to Him and challenge Him — to get really mad at Him — to shout, with all the indignation and grief and unbelief I had to admit that I held in my heart… Why, God?? If You love me, why did You allow this to happen to me??

How do you trust a God who knows an accident will happen yet does not prevent it? 

Jesus has helped me answer this question. Jesus has helped me believe the love that is God. Jesus, fully God and fully man, walked to His own crucifixion. God became man and allowed Himself to be tortured, hung up, and killed so that He could demonstrate that He does indeed have power over all that is evil in our sight. He rose from the dead to show us that He doesn’t always stop our trials and tragedies, pain and suffering, but He does indeed triumph over them. If we don’t trust that this is true, and find meaning there, the only other option is despair. 

When I went to Him with my pain, He held my face in His hands and I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it wasn’t what He wanted for me. It wasn’t how my life was intended to go — and He has since shown me, through the people who have been sent to me, that He was with me then — in fact, He has been with me the whole time. He’s been patiently waiting for me to realize that I really can trust Him and all that He has promised. His love is like none we can imagine, and the sooner we understand this and allow it to penetrate our psyche and soothe our toughest emotions, the sooner we will experience the fullness of life that He knows is possible.

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Lindsay Elford

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