Want to Want it

A Reflection on the First Reading for March 14th, 2021:
Fourth Sunday of Lent

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​2 Chronicles
36.14-17a, 19-23

All the leading priests and the people were exceedingly unfaithful, following all the abominations of the nations; and they polluted the house of the Lord that he had consecrated in Jerusalem.

The Lord, the God of their ancestors, persistently sent his messengers to them, because he had compassion on his people and on his dwelling place; but they kept mocking the messengers of God, despising his words, and scoffing at his Prophets, until the wrath of the Lord against his people became so great that there was no remedy.

Therefore the Lord brought up against them the king of the Chaldeans, who burned the house of God, broke down the wall of Jerusalem, burned all its palaces with fire, and destroyed all its precious vessels. The king took into exile in Babylon those who had escaped from the sword, and they became servants to him and to his sons until the establishment of the kingdom of Persia, to fulfill the word of the Lord by the mouth of Jeremiah, until the land had made up for its Sabbaths. All the days that it lay desolate it kept Sabbath, to fulfill seventy years.

In the first year of King Cyrus of Persia, in fulfillment of the word of the Lord spoken by Jeremiah, the Lord stirred up the spirit of King Cyrus of Persia so that he sent a herald throughout all his kingdom and also declared in a written edict: “Thus says King Cyrus of Persia: The Lord, the God of heaven, has given me all the kingdoms of the earth, and he has charged me to build him a house at Jerusalem, which is in Judah. Whoever is among you of all his people, may the Lord his God be with him! Let him go up.”
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Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

​Fallen nature makes it easy for anyone to slide into poor habits and decisions, but perhaps Christians are faced with another sneaky obstacle in this regard. A Christian can fall prey to the presumption that God’s favour equates guaranteed confidence in His covenant despite our sometimes sub-par choices.

For the Lord’s part, His commitment is unwavering. But relationships go both ways, and our fallen nature can make holding up our end of the bargain difficult. In today’s reading, the leading priests and people of Jerusalem are prime examples of this: favoured by the Lord and in possession of the temple, they had become unfaithful. In compassion, the Lord persistently sent messengers to warn them of their ways, but they still refused to look at themselves.

The Lord longs for His people, but He cannot force an unwilling heart, nor allow endless abomination. He thus allows the Chaldeans to destroy that which was meant to be holy. God’s people are exiled from Jerusalem into Babylon for the better part of a century until the arrival of Cyrus the Great. Interestingly, Cyrus, neither a Jew nor particularly committed to the covenant, re-builds the temple and incites those with any faith to “go up” with their God.

Yet liberation of the Jews did not happen overnight in one enthusiastically repentant fell swoop. It was likely that many Jews decided not to return to their home. 70 years is a long time, plenty of time to establish life in a new place. Babylon was a Godless city, but also attractive and cosmopolitan; an international and intellectual influence. Imagine being exiled to such a place: Were you contrite upon exile? If so, would you have embraced the long and sometimes slow and hard work of penance and healing while a multitude of worldly distractions surrounded you? Would you want liberation at the end of such a long wait? Or would you slide into the comfort and familiarity of older and easier ways? 

It's around this time in Lent when my enthusiasm for my Lenten commitments completely wanes into non-existence. I’ll be honest. This year, despite my good intentions on Ash Wednesday, I find within myself a propensity to “like” what I’m fasting from, despite it not being good for me. What if I discover the thing that keeps me from the Lord is not actually something I want to give up? Or what if I’m trying but continue to slip?

Second Chronicles convicts me but also gives me hope. Like the Jews, liberation is available to me. But I might have to start pleading sincerely for the grace to desire what is good, to give up that which keeps me from Him, before I can make a better choice — to choose covenant and freedom.

"God wants our cooperation in our sanctification. Yet we are often unwilling or unable to do what is right. We need God’s help even in willing to do what is good. Cooperation begins with the plea: 'Help me to do what I don’t want to do! Help me to want to do what I don’t want to do!' This plea is all God needs to join our wills to His so that He can cleanse us and lead us to eternal life."

-Memento Mori Lenten Devotional
Sr. Theresa Aletheia Noble, FSP
@pursuedbytruth

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Michelynne Gomez

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