Worth The Cost

A Reflection on the Gospel for July 26th, 2020:
Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

---

MATTHEW
13:44-52

44 "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. 45 "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, 46 who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it. 47 "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net which was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind; 48 when it was full, men drew it ashore and sat down and sorted the good into vessels but threw away the bad. 49 So it will be at the close of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous, 50 and throw them into the furnace of fire; there men will weep and gnash their teeth. 51 "Have you understood all this?" They said to him, "Yes." 52 And he said to them, "Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like a householder who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old."
​

Pause. Pray.

And then read more...

​In this week’s Gospel, Christ communicates to us the value of the kingdom of God. It is worth more than everything that we possess, and we must sacrifice it all to receive and experience its goodness. We can know the gift of the Holy Spirit and His fruits in our present lives, and He desires this for us. However, it involves total surrender. To give our daily “yes” and learn and grow as we fall and get back up again, to let go again when we re-grasp at what might offer us a false sense of security.


Last year I married my husband, and in doing so we both gave a lot. Our vows to one another meant saying “no” to other potential spouses, other vocations, and certain freedoms that come with living as a single person. The most significant thing we gave was our selves — making a covenant with God to be faithful to one another, to be open to children and raising a family in our faith, and to care for one another in all circumstances for the rest of our lives. That day was only the first day of a lifetime of sacrifice and self-gift — I am only a year in, so I have barely scratched the surface of what it is to truly give all.


However, my marriage helps me understand these parables a little better and makes me anticipate the wonder and beauty of the kingdom of God. On the day of my wedding I was full of peace, joy, and certainty that this was the man and the plan God has for my life. After years of waiting, praying, and searching, I found Paul (and he found me), and by the time we reached the altar there was no doubt in my mind that anything I was giving up was absolutely worth who I was receiving in marriage. Not because I had some sort of idealized and romanticized vision of our life together — but because I could see that we had the capacity and the willingness to support one another in growth and I had faith that the Holy Spirit would teach us to love and trust in God’s mercy.

​
When I pray with this Gospel passage there is, truthfully, fear present in my heart. Even though I have had many moments of expressing my desire to give all that I have to follow Christ, I know that I sometimes retreat in insecurity and start to count the cost of my possessions.  But I ask Him to help me understand how great His kingdom is and how what I am giving seriously pales in comparison to the richness of the love and fulfillment God will give me in return. Just as I was able to happily give up my past life to receive my husband and become his wife – I trust that the Spirit will help me to learn to become a joyful giver and to surrender all without any regrets — with faith and hope that the kingdom I am entering into is what I am made for and worth all the cost.




Kendra L.

---